What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
