So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
