is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
