I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
