I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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