So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
