Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
