I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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