I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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