Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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