my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
