Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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