We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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