i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize