You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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