Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
