Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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