youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
