She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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