Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
