i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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