Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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