$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
