I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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