oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
