There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
