Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
