ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
