We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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