my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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