Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
