A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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