you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
