i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
