Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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