Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
