It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I have grass duct taped all over my body
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
