I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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