Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
