I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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