We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
