I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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