everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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