Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
