I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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