I wanna bring you to show and tell
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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