New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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