Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
