they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
