I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
