what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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