she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
