So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
