Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
