dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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