...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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