he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
