I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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