why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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