2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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